How to mint a card without losing your mind

If you have made it to the Generate page, congratulations. You are about to commit the most disciplined act of civic theatre available in 2026: minting a satirical membership card to a fictional political party founded by a kitchen insect.

Here is how to do it well.

Step 1: Sign in with Google

This is the part where the swarm confirms you are you. We do not read your email, contacts, or calendar. We are not that interesting. We use Google sign-in so that, six months from now, you can return to this same browser, sign in with the same Gmail, and find your card waiting. The internet has few re-entry points. This is one of them.

Step 2: Fill the form

Enter your full name. Add a display title if you would like — “Chief Sleep Officer” is a strong starting point, but the field is yours. State and city help us add a touch of regional colour to your card. A slogan is optional, but a good one elevates the entire document.

Step 3: Pick a style

There are five variants:

• Standard — the workhorse. Horizontal. Print-friendly. Pairs well with a chai.
• Premium seal — the same, with a red rubber stamp and a ribbon title bar and an embarrassing amount of authority.

Step 4: Download or share

PNG for the group chat. PDF for the printer. A share link for the rare friend who reads links. Whatever you do, please do not present your CJP card as a real government ID at any airport, polling booth, or HR onboarding. It will not work. We will be impressed, briefly, but it will not work.